Requirements & Synopsis
Secrets – 2 M, 2 F, but each actor doubles as a second, masked character, representing the “other” kids at the school. However, the play has been done with eight actors, plus extras. Two settings.
Victor is back from the previous two plays, Susan is back from Schoolyard Games, and Rocky and Binnie are back from Not So Dumb – only now they’re all teenagers, and dealing with issues around love, sex and reputation.
Rocky and Binnie are a couple, but Rocky’s infidelities are pushing Binnie to the point of breaking up with him. Meanwhile, Victor has a crush on Susan, but Susan has been saddled with a false reputation for sexual promiscuity, and Victor has been rewarded for his efforts to support a queer schoolmate, with a false reputation for being gay himself.
Unlike the other “Not So Dumb” plays, Secrets contains asides and soliloquies to the audience, in keeping with the widespread adolescent experience of feeling one way and presenting yourself in another.
Excerpt
BINNIE has told VICTOR that SUSAN is interested in being his date at an upcoming party at VICTOR’s house. She exits and leaves him alone. HEATHER and BROOKE, who enter later, are two of the four masked “other” kids.
VICTOR (to Audience): Wow. Susan wants me to ask her out? Unless Binnie’s just trying to get me to make an ass of myself. “Susan, would you care to attend this little soirée as my evening companion? Nothing special, no pressure, very low-key – a few friends, some fine wine, a little Beethoven, a little LSD, some sexual intercourse, maybe get married,” oh, help! How do all those jerks do it!
(ROCKY enters behind him, carrying a chain and looking like a dangerous juvenile offender. VICTOR continues his soliloquy:)
You always have to act like you know exactly how to do everything. Anything that’s for the first time, you can never let on it’s the first time, you know? How do the rest of them manage? Everybody knows how except the genius!
ROCKY: Now let’s see. What am I gonna do to Victor today? (VICTOR hears this, sits still.) I think maybe I’ll tie one end of this chain ‘round his ankles and the other end to my car, and drag him ‘round the school a few times. (Comes forward to VICTOR.) So you gonna come quiet, or do I gotta beat the daylights outa ya first?
(Pause, face to face.)
VICTOR: You never just take me out to dinner any more.
(ROCKY tries to keep a straight face, but can’t. VICTOR cracks up.)
ROCKY (shoves him): Flake off, jerk!
VICTOR (shoves back): Jerk off, flake! (Laughs some more. Aside:) I kill myself.
ROCKY: Yeah, yeah, yeah… (Sits beside VICTOR.) Hey, listen, man, it’s one thing to joke around like that when we’re hangin’ out down the garage. But when you flip your wrists an’ stuff at the guys around here, they don’t know you’re kidding.
VICTOR: Oh, come on!
ROCKY: I’m tellin’ you, you keep that stuff goin’, it’s gonna come back an’ get you. (Opens his lunch. They eat.)
VICTOR: So where’s your books?
ROCKY: What?
VICTOR: We were supposed to work on the math, remember?
ROCKY: Oh, yeah. I left all my stuff at Binnie’s last night. (Aside:) With a note inside it from Whatsername. If she looks, I’m in deep sludge.
VICTOR: Oh, for Pete’s sake. You just missed her. I saw she had your bag, but it didn’t register.
ROCKY: Oh, yeah? Where? (Calls:) Binnie!
VICTOR: No, she’s gone.
ROCKY: Well, I phoned her this morning an’ she said she’d bring it to class.
VICTOR: Hey man, the whole point was to have it before class. Now. At lunch hour. I was gonna save your hide, remember?
ROCKY: Yeah, I know, sorry.
VICTOR: Rocky, I can’t help you with this crap if you’re not even gonna bring your books. I’m not your mother, okay?
ROCKY: Then stop talkin’ like her, okay?
VICTOR: Well, I mean, really.
ROCKY: Do I talk to you like that when I’m givin’ you the driving lessons?
VICTOR: No, you scream obscenities at me.
ROCKY: Exactly. (Sees HEATHER and BROOKE approaching, off. Aside:) Oh, jeez. Trouble on the hoof.
HEATHER (enters with BROOKE, passing through): Hello, Rocky.
ROCKY: Yeah.
HEATHER: Victor.
VICTOR: Darling.
ROCKY: Stop that!
VICTOR: Chill.
BROOKE: What’s the big chain for?
ROCKY: Body work.
BROOKE: Oh?
ROCKY: Cars. Straightenin’ out bent cars.
VICTOR (Aside): See? Nobody ever flirts with me like that.
HEATHER: You coming to the party tonight?
ROCKY: Yeah. With Binnie.
HEATHER: Oh, good. So are we. See you there. (As they exit:) Victor, darling, it’s going to be the event of the season!
VICTOR: I know, darling, I’m simply moist with anticipation.
ROCKY: Hey! Stop it! Jeez, I hate when you do that.
VICTOR: Hey. It’s a joke, Jackass.
ROCKY: Hey. I know it’s a joke, Dipstick. Jus’ don’ do it when I’m sittin’ next to ya!
VICTOR: Take it easy. You’re so sensitive.
ROCKY: Stop it!
VICTOR: I wasn’t doing it that time! That was me!
ROCKY: Oh.
*****