Requirements & Synopsis
2 M, 1 F, one setting. Binnie, now a little older, has been diagnosed with learning disabilities, and has become friends with Rocky, who is also severely learning-disabled. They learn that their teacher is taking the year off on maternal leave. The messenger bearing this bad news is Victor, the day monitor, who is as alienated from the rest of the students as Rocky and Binnie are, but in his case because he’s cursed with being allegedly the smartest kid in the school. Beginning with mutual dislike and mistrust, these three misfits start to learn more about each other – including, to Victor’s surprise, the keen intelligence shown by the other two – and in the end they discover, of all things, friendship.
Critical Responses
“Not So Dumb is a play with a message, but not at the sacrifice of the fun of the theatre… The Takhini Elementary students squeal with delight… It’s sure to win a few hearts in the territory. The show has a strong emotional impact on people.”
– Eric Eggertson, Yukon News, Sept. 1985
“A touching and evocative play… My Grade Two critic faulted Not So Dumb only on the basis of being ‘too short.’”
– Pat Donnelly, Montreal Gazette, Nov. 1985
“Author John Lazarus trains both light and warmth on the issue… an undeniably engaging play… The story fairly bolts from the starting gate.”
– Randal McIlroy, Winnipeg Free Press, Feb. 1992
“Dix sur dix.”
– Raymond Bernatchez, La Presse, Montreal, 1985
Excerpt
ROCKY and BINNIE have opened the teacher’s filing cabinet and scattered the confidential files on their progress around the room. VICTOR has insisted they put everything back, and threatened to tell the school principal, Mr. Powers, if they don’t. ROCKY has countered by threatening to smash VICTOR’s face in. The tape recorder referred to is a portable “boom box,” which in the recently-updated version of the play is a 1970s “authentic antique” belonging to VICTOR’s grandfather, which VICTOR has brought to Show and Tell.
BINNIE (to VICTOR): What if we just clean it all up an’ put everything back exactly the way it was? So there won’t be any harm done, right? So then you don’t have to tell the Principal. (To ROCKY:) And you won’t have to smash his face in. ‘Cause everything will be like it was, right?
VICTOR: But everything won’t be like it was, because Rocky’s read his file! Or else he’s gonna.
ROCKY: I can’t, dodo! You’re tellin’ me to turn myself in for readin’ a file, an’ I can’t even read the file!
VICTOR: You can’t?
ROCKY: I can’t even find it.
VICTOR: What? (Starts to laugh.) You broke into this thing just to look for a file you can’t even read?
BINNIE: It’s not funny, Victor.
VICTOR (laughing): What a dummy! I’ve seen some dummies before, but you – you just – (ROCKY threatens him.) Don’t! Don’t! Ow! Ow! Don’t hit me! Don’t hit me!
ROCKY: Aaaaaaarrrrggghhhh!
(ROCKY grabs VICTOR’s tape recorder, holds it up in the air, ready to smash it, possibly over VICTOR’s head. BINNIE gets on her hands and knees, bounds over to ROCKY, barking, and yanks his shoelaces undone with her teeth. Distracted, he turns and glares at her as she bounds back, still on hands and knees. She is imitating a large, sloppy dog.)
BINNIE: Woof! Woof! Grrr-uff! (Sits up and pants.)
ROCKY: Whaddayou doin’!
BINNIE: I’m doing Snowy, my dog. Haven’t you ever seen my Snowy imitation?
ROCKY: Whatcha open my shoelaces for?
BINNIE: To stop you beating up on Victor.
ROCKY: Opening my shoelaces an’ barking like your dog isn’t gonna make me stop beating up on Victor!
BINNIE: Well, it did…
(Pause.)
ROCKY (lamely): Oh. Yeah. it did. (Beat.) Okay, Victor. Tie ‘em back up, then.
VICTOR: Me? She untied them!
ROCKY: You started all this, you tie ‘em up.
VICTOR: What started all this was you not being able to read your files. I can’t help it if it made me laugh. (ROCKY again wields the tape recorder.) All right I’ll do it don’t hit me! (Kneels to tie the shoes. While he is kneeling at ROCKY’s feet, tying his shoes:)
BINNIE: Ya know the hardest thing about having a learning disability, Victor?
VICTOR: What?
BINNIE: Putting up with guys like you!
VICTOR: Oh. Well. (Brief silence.) I’m sorry I laughed, okay?
(ROCKY and BINNIE look at each other.)
BINNIE: Okay.
ROCKY (not angry): Ya know somethin’? I wish it was you, Victor. Jus’ for like one class, so you’d know what it’s like. Sittin’ in class and hoping she won’t ask you. ‘Cause ya know you’ll do it wrong an’ everybody’ll laugh. Sometimes I see you get up to read or something, an’ you do it so perfect, an’ I just wish you knew what it was like to be me an’ Binnie.
VICTOR (finishes tying, stands): Well, you know, everything isn’t exactly perfect for me either. Getting beaten up by guys at recess all the time –
BINNIE: Well, at least you got all the grownups on your side. The teachers and stuff.
VICTOR: Well, so what, when you don’t have any friends?
ROCKY: We don’t have any friends either.
VICTOR: Sure you do, you’ve got – never mind.
BINNIE: You don’t know what it’s like, Victor. People calling you names all the time.
VICTOR: Are you kidding? Are you kidding? I’m the world’s greatest expert on being called names!
ROCKY: Nobody ever called you stupid.
VICTOR: No! Instead they call me a “braaaayn”!
ROCKY: You know what they call me? A ree-tard.
VICTOR: They call me a nerd.
ROCKY: You called me a dummy!
VICTOR: Oh yeah? Well, I’m a wimp!
ROCKY (pointing to himself): Feeb!
VICTOR (ditto): Weirdo!
ROCKY: Idiot!
VICTOR: Four-Eyes!
ROCKY: Moron!
VICTOR: Egghead!
ROCKY: Airhead!
BINNIE: Hold it! (Freezes. The OTHER TWO freeze as well, in response to her. Whispering:) Principal coming.
(ALL remain frozen, listening. Then they all hear it. Immediate action: BINNIE and ROCKY dive behind the desk. VICTOR stands there for a moment, as if petrified with fear – but then he suddenly starts shouting:)
VICTOR: Stupid! Brain! Retard! Nerd! Dummy! Wimp!
(As he shouts, ignoring ROCKY and BINNIE’s attempts to gesture him back to safety behind the desk, he quickly puts on two of the classroom’s resident hand puppets, one on each hand. Then he opens the door.)
Feeb! Weirdo! Idiot! Four-Eyes! Moron! Egghead! Airhead! –
Oh, hi, Mr. Powers.
Playing.
Binnie and Rocky? They’ve left.
Oh, that was me. This puppet is Binnie, and this puppet is, uh, Rocky. And I’m having a big fight between them. I’m releasing my feelings through creative play.
(Pause, as Mr. Powers presumably absorbs this one.)
Oh. Okay. Bye, Mr. Powers.
(Mr. Powers apparently leaves. VICTOR closes the door.)
We gotta be quieter, he’s staying in his office for a while.
(ROCKY slowly stands up from behind the desk, staring wildly at VICTOR. Slightly alarmed:)
I’m sorry. I wasn’t out to make fun of you or anything. Don’t hit me.
ROCKY: That was – that was great. That was absolutely fantastic!
BINNIE (getting up): Not so dumb, Victor!
ROCKY: That was fantastic!
(VICTOR blushes and shrugs.)
BINNIE: What didja tell him? Releasing your what?
VICTOR: “Releasing my feelings through creative play.” (Giggles.) I don’t even know what it means. I read it in a book.
ROCKY: You read that? In a book?
VICTOR: A comic! I read it in a comic.